Monthly Archives: June 2013

Thumbing Their Noses At Lake Michigan Palates

Posted on June 28, 2013 by intoxreport

A random glance at most websites listing Michigan wineries reveals glaring omission: The east side of the state is pretty much not on the map. And I am not suggesting that this does not make sense, at least traditionally, and … Continue reading →

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Drinking While Pregnant? No ProbleζςτǿЦ∑

Posted on June 22, 2013 by intoxreport

Dear ol’ mom was known to knock back a few; that is not in dispute.  However, since I was born during the Mad Men heyday, just how much she upped and quaffed while up the duff is a question of … Continue reading →

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Cork Dork Laments, ‘Why Didn’t I Think Of It First?’

Posted on June 19, 2013 by intoxreport

Because you are a dolt and a doofus as well as a dork.  Hey, so kill the messenger already.  Rest easy: None of us thought of it either. Consider these vignettes, transfused with varying volumes of veracity: The sail was … Continue reading →

Posted in GENERAL | Tagged , , | 1 Comment

Cure For The Summertime Blues? Whites!

Posted on June 17, 2013 by intoxreport

I reserve a sort of parallel pity for people professing, ‘ I only drink red wine,’ as I do for those picky pisshaps who propound, ‘I only date Nordic meconologists with silicone hooters and poodles named ‘Pummy Paw-Paws.’ Yoda reminds … Continue reading →

Posted in ITALY, Napa | Tagged , , | 1 Comment

Chew Chew Charlie Was A Racketeer? Say It Isn’t So, Feds!

Posted on June 14, 2013 by intoxreport

Of the many strange pearls of advice my father offered me, this one stuck:  ‘Never trust anyone whose name can be translated as ‘Vietcong Pig’s Feet’. I once—once—had dinner at Chuck E. Fromage—Charlie Trotter’s eponymous, over-priced, upscale pizzeria on W. … Continue reading →

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French To Take Some Canned Heat at Vinexpo 2013

Posted on June 14, 2013 by intoxreport

I’m going, I’m going, Where the water tastes like wine; We can jump in the water, Stay drunk all the time. – ‘Going Up The Country’; Canned Heat, 1968 Next week at Vinexpo in Bordeaux, Winestar will introduce a line … Continue reading →

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No Honor-Roll Among Thieves: Balmy & Clod Rob Château d’Yquem

Posted on June 12, 2013 by intoxreport

Granted, when Clyde Barrow and Bonnie Parker began their cigar-chompin’ shitstorm in 1932, the dessert wine industry had not really taken hold in the Midwest.  So, they are to be forgiven for targeting banks and gas stations rather than hundred-point châteaux … Continue reading →

Posted in Bordeaux, FRANCE, GENERAL | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

When Is A Snow Cone A ‘No’ Cone? Ask Francis Ford Coppola

Posted on June 11, 2013 by intoxreport

As a phenomenal film forger, a wicked wine whiz and a fellow Detroiter (by birth, anyway), it is hard for me not to harbor a soft spot for Francis Ford Coppola.  A forgiving and patient soft spot, too—one that is … Continue reading →

Posted in CALIFORNIA, GENERAL, Napa | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

He Who Laughs Last Laughs Longest… At The Longest Word

Posted on June 10, 2013 by intoxreport

I expect to take grief for what I am about to say, but taking grief is table stakes for this column.  Besides, deep inside the dustiest nook of our most politically correct consciences, we all know it is true: Once … Continue reading →

Posted in GENERAL, GERMANY | Tagged , , , | 1 Comment

Bridlewood Revisited

Posted on June 8, 2013 by intoxreport

What’s the difference between a fifteen dollar chardonnay and a twenty dollar chardonnay? Five bucks. Thomas Riley Marshall (D), Indiana governor, 1908 -1913 and 28th Vice President of the United States under Woodrow Wilson, is not remembered for his controversial … Continue reading →

Posted in CALIFORNIA, Central Coast, Monterey | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments