Monthly Archives: July 2015

Sorry, Boys: Brosé Sounds Totally Gé

Posted on July 29, 2015 by intoxreport

I just read an article in The Telegraph that I mistook for an article in The Onion, because The Telegraph doesn’t go out of its way to be facetious and The Onion goes so far out of its way to … Continue reading →

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Kickstarter: Fund MY Dreams, Not Yours

Posted on July 25, 2015 by intoxreport

‘Doing obscure, cool shit costs money.  Why waste your own?’ If I ran a crowd funding platform—the post-modern answer to standing on a freeway on-ramp holding a misspelled sign—that’s the slogan I’d use.  And if I was marketing to donators … Continue reading →

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Charlotte’s Telaraña

Posted on July 23, 2015 by intoxreport

Any British woman who sends a townful of Spaniards an invitation to a Battle of Trafalgar Anniversary Party is my kinda broad. The fact that October 21 (the date Lord Nelson defeated the Spanish Navy during the Napoleonic Wars) also … Continue reading →

Posted in SPAIN | Tagged , , , | 1 Comment

Spanish Nor’Wester: A Mighty Wine

Posted on July 19, 2015 by intoxreport

Northwest Spain is a treasure trove of venerable varietals, most of which are completely unknown to American consumers and their strange fixation on the familiar. For example, Carrasquín.  One of four grapes native to Asturias, it produces a dark, muscular … Continue reading →

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Antichrist Miracle? Wine Without Water

Posted on July 18, 2015 by intoxreport

Water should not be a source of agita to me, but it is.  When I was a kid, getting a drink of water was a pain-free proposition: I got a glass out of the dish rack next to the sink, … Continue reading →

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The Gindenburg: ‘Oh, The Ginanity’

Posted on July 17, 2015 by intoxreport

It’s six in the morning and shortly, Hendrick’s Gin wants to get me up inside a giant flying pickle.  Technically, it’s a flying cucumber, but technically again,  a pickle is merely a cucumber that feels like I do at 6 … Continue reading →

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Is ‘Omerta’ an Indian Word?

Posted on July 16, 2015 by intoxreport

People are generally a bit surprised to find out that there is a Canadian Mafia, primarily because* the two concepts seem so incompatible. * (I was going to say ‘chiefly’ because, but in the wake of Washington Redskins Name-Scandalgate, I thought … Continue reading →

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Date Cristal; Marry Cava

Posted on July 12, 2015 by intoxreport

During our formative years—that callow and malleable era when we still thought Keith Richards was a good guitar player and PETA was a righteous organization and God was actually seated in His heaven—we came to the conclusion that there were … Continue reading →

Posted in Penedès, SPAIN | Tagged | 1 Comment

Whip: It Good

Posted on July 7, 2015 by intoxreport

Some of the world’s greatest wines are single varietal.  There are the towering Chardonnays of Montrachet, the suave and potent Pinot Noirs of Romanée-Conti, the hedonistic Rieslings of the Rheingau and the pure-Furmint Tokajis of Hungary. You’ll run into some impressive … Continue reading →

Posted in CALIFORNIA, Central Coast | Tagged , , , | 1 Comment

Robert Parker Wants Make-Up Sex, That’s All

Posted on July 5, 2015 by intoxreport

It’s a mixed-up, jumbled-up, webbed-up world, kids, and what you just read is known as ‘clickbait’—a provocative headline designed to generate reader hits. And you bit, suckers. First, let me apologize for baiting your click then calling you suckers: “I … Continue reading →

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