Chris Kassel is a respected anti-journalist specializing in life, liberty and the pursuit of Happy Hour. Over twenty years, he has developed an international reputation for his horrifically childish iconoclastic view of the wine industry. First introduced to wine at the workhouses of Northwest Detroit where he was raised, he went on to become a sommelier and to manage award-winning wine programs at orphanages, state mental hospitals and day-care centers throughout the Midwest.
"Please, sir. I want some more."
*Save little Julia Twist from a life of white slavery and reverse discrimination by subscribing to this web site via the tab on the lower right side of this page (just below ‘Categories’ column). God will reward you tenfold and you will be able to sleep at night.
SITE DESIGNED BY JESSE MARTIN KASSEL: kasselillustration@gmail.com
intoxreport.com 
Chris:
I dig your work. Very entertaining. I’d like to do a collaboration with you.
I run the discovery mag, Fav&Co. It’s a social review site for the those obsessed with well made goods. I’d like to have you on the site as a guest expert.
Please, check out the site, fav.co (not dot com). If you are interested, send me an email to discuss the details.
Best,
Andrew
Chris,
if you want to contribute to Uncorked, a weekly iPad wine magazine ( and be paid!) , please shoot me an email.
Steve Yafa syafa@nomadeditons.com
https://nomadeditions.com/uncorked/
If you just need another sycophant please let me know. You’re the Master Wine Blogger. Thanks!
I don’t care what you call yourself, Galen, so long as you bring the drugs.
Chris,
One of the Wine Blog Award judges reached out to me to ask your email. He has a writing gig he’d like to discuss with you (he was very impressed with your blog). Please email me.
Thanks!
Hello!
I am a student at Columbia College Chicago. I noticed your blog was a 2012 Wine Blog Awards finalist. Congratulations! I was hoping you could please do me a favor.
For one of my classes, I was given the tricky task of re-branding the Carlo Rossi wine brand. As a part of my research I put together a survey, and have to get 400 people to respond by best Wednesday, October 9. If you could please post this survey to your site, or at least take it yourself, I would REALLY appreciate it:
Click here to take survey
Thank you for your consideration!
Bridget Conway
bridget.conway@loop.colum.edu
I’m a co-ed at a small, Midwestern university…no wait. Full stop.
I’m a former wine lover, now reformed alcoholic, but still curious. I enjoy your writings. If I didn’t have a gun to my own head, I’d applaud you right now.
Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful. Hate me because I’m an asshole.
Thank you for your service.
I reformed my alcoholism as well. I now drink more bourbon than wine.
I like to eat tomatoes until my tongue stings. Parallel lives… bonus!
I worked for Joel Peterson at The Halloween Wine Co for about 10 years ( & like the man very much), and your coverage of RW just made me smile all over myself. I left The Nest in 2001 when The Man (Constellation) bought RW and now I watch from a great distance as it continues to masquerade as its former self. Perfect for Halloween. The RW wine perfect for a good time. Thanks for slaying me, hilarious psycho killer. Look forward to what goes with Turkey soon.
Unbelievable! Of the five wineries you just wrote about, four of them have their wine made be the same guy at the same place. They don’t even own a winery. The honest vintners in Leelanau County are really tired of this kind of reporting. Honestly, we don’t care who makes their wine but they should be called tasting rooms not wineries and you should be more prudent on your reporting and even more so your research because it doesn’t appear that any has been done.
Tom, I am aware of who makes the wines at the wineries ; in fact, not only are the wineries quite proud of him, I interviewed Shawn after the tour. My goal in this piece was to showcase new Leelanau wineries, not to appease douchebags who pretend to speak for ‘honest’ vintners. I will say that the wines (same varietals and styles) that I sampled were each unique to their terroir, showing an individual vineyard footprint regardless of whose fingerprints were on the fermenter.
Pretty please with sugar on top, list some of your ‘honest’ vintners along with your qualifications for calling them so and I will write a column on that peculiar notion.
Hi – I really like your blog! I’m doing a school essay about wine bloggers. Would you mind being one of them? If yes, do you have an email I can contact you.
Chris, If you are interested in tasting and reviewing more hard cider, we’d love to have you out at our new tasting room in Wheeler, MI. We’re a family run apple orchard who is now making hard cider – Forgotten Ciders. Very unique, and very different.
I just came across your blog, nice website! I was wondering if you would be interested in trying some of our wine? We have many recognizable brands as well as some we produce in-house. Please let me know! http://www.winetasting.com
why so angry?
I’m not. What about you?
Hi Chris,
We enjoy your work and wanted to reach out to you and see if you have any interest in covering Valle De Guadalupe, the growing wine region in Baja California, Mexico. We have many partners down there and are trying to get more exposure. If you would like to connect please send us an email and we would love to have you join us on a trip in the near future.
Best,
Matt
http://www.bajawinerytours.com
What is the best email to send food related press materials?
Hey Chris,
We enjoy your writing and would like to send you some wine (and a comic book)
Got an address?
I wouldn’t give an address to an anonymous, duh.
Horrible blog. Horrible person.
I agree In fact, I dislike myself so much I intentionally write a horrible blog to torture myself. Then I edit it multiple times to make it even more horrible.
Bonjour Chris,
We want to thank you for your commentary about our vintages 2010 and 2014 further to the UGCB tasting. Where can we reach you?
chriskassel1@aol.com
Hi! My client The Decanting Club would love to send your some samples of their wine to review! Please let me know where to send them 🙂
Check them out here: https://decanting.club/wine/
Message me at chriskassel1@aol.com and I’ll send you an address. Won’t post it here for obvious reasons (!)