Category Archives: FRANCE

Man The Lifeboats: Women, Children And Premium Champagne First

Posted on June 11, 2012 by intoxreport

Martin Mull, back me up on this one: For some reason, there are a lot of homoerotic terms associated with being a seaman.  Poop deck, sperm whale, cockswain, hanging around the buoys, ‘All hands on dick deck’. Going down on … Continue reading →

Posted in Champagne, FRANCE | Tagged , , | 2 Comments

Monbazillac: Wine That Even Sugarplum Fairies Can Afford

Posted on June 8, 2012 by intoxreport

All the gnarling and kvetching over the California foie gras ban has an upside: It has been driving generic and often nostalgic stories about this iconic pâté; foie fans are, apparently, legion, loyal and pissed-off vocal. It seems that John … Continue reading →

Posted in FRANCE | Tagged , | 2 Comments

Ready To Read Another Dull ‘En Primeur’ Column? Good, Because I’m Not Ready To Write One

Posted on April 12, 2012 by intoxreport

American wine people love to pronounce French words—especially those that they actually can pronounce. That’s why they’re always talking about lieu-dit, cépage and egrappage when they could be talking about ‘vineyard’, ‘kind of grape’ and ‘yanking the friggin’ stems off’. … Continue reading →

Posted in Bordeaux, Cab/Merlot, Cabernet Franc, FRANCE, Malbec, Merlot, Petit Verdot, Sauvignon Blanc | Tagged , , , , , | 12 Comments

A Long Languid Lope Down The Loire

Posted on April 5, 2012 by intoxreport

Part I:  How White is My Valley? The wild Loire is the longest river in France, and its associated winemaking  ward covers a whoppin’ 185,000 acres.  Originating in the deep south—virtually in the Rhône appellation—it scrambles up through Orléans (Jeanne … Continue reading →

Posted in Loire, Melon de Bourgogne, Sauvignon Blanc | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Champagne-Loving Brit Twit Charged With Felony Dipshittery

Posted on April 5, 2012 by intoxreport

For the most part, I consider myself something of a literary whiz kid—far too quick-witted, imaginative, profound and enlightened to comment on silly, wine-related ‘news stories’ that have little to do with my mission of advancing  enological education among serious … Continue reading →

Posted in Champagne, GENERAL | Tagged , , , | 2 Comments

What’s So Great About France, Vintage 2009?

Posted on March 7, 2012 by intoxreport

In the first place, ‘vintage year’ is whatever the opposite of oxymoronic is, since technically, every year is a vintage year. In Oporto, however, certain vintages may be ‘declared’—meaning that, in the spring of the second year following the harvest, … Continue reading →

Posted in Bordeaux, Burgundy, FRANCE, GENERAL, Loire, Rhône | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Certainly Maceration Is Normal For Boys, Ben. But…

Posted on January 29, 2012 by intoxreport

…not during Algebra.  Now, wash your hands and finish your polynomials. Yesterday I had my wine tasting acumen publically mocked by Ben Fawcett because I dared to suggest that I am a fan of Beaujolais—or rather, because  I like the … Continue reading →

Posted in Beaujolais, FRANCE, Gamay | Tagged , , | 12 Comments

Tits For Taittinger: S.A.G, Not Saggy

Posted on January 28, 2012 by intoxreport

As a connotation, as a concept and as a cliché, Champagne is a titillating tipple, entangled in seduction, raveled in sex and wrung out into seven-ounce flutes as a morning-after testimonial.  Therefore, when I developed an instantaneous crush on Champagne … Continue reading →

Posted in Champagne, GENERAL | Tagged , , , | 1 Comment

Only 98 Photoshopping Days Left Until The Bordeaux en primeur

Posted on January 20, 2012 by intoxreport

“I’m on a seafood diet.  I see food and I throw up.” – Runway model Filippa Hamilton-Palmstierna A pair of recent headlines—one excoriating Ralph Lauren for photoshopping cover-girl Filippa Hamilton-Palmstierna to resemble Bobby Sands during Extreme Unction and another excoriating … Continue reading →

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Bordeaux Is Selling Out—Or At Least, It’s On The Market

Posted on January 3, 2012 by intoxreport

‘Under-the-radar wine estate for sale, Saint-Caprais-de-Bordeaux, château-on-steroids, 20 hectares of vines that are firing on all cylinders.  Priced to sell, this turn-key opportunity is a win-win.’ In the business world, you call such a find ‘low-hanging fruit’ and then, you … Continue reading →

Posted in Bordeaux, FRANCE | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments