Author Archives: intoxreport

Brys Is Nice: Try ‘Dry Ice’ For Sugar And Spice

Posted on May 15, 2012 by intoxreport

Take my advice and read this twice: Brys Dry Ice is gold-medal nice; and Patrick Brys is that in a trice—as sisters Katie and Stephanie Brys can likewise entice.   No, I’m not channeling the ghost of Dr. Seuss; it’s … Continue reading →

Posted in Michigan, MIDWEST, Old Mission Peninsula | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

How To Buy Wine In The Most Dangerous City In America

Posted on May 14, 2012 by intoxreport

“How ya gonna keep ‘em down in the slum, After they’ve seen El Ayyyy?” – Apologies to Joe Young and Sam M. Lewis I won’t say the name of the Flint lounge where I had this conversation, because the bartender … Continue reading →

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2 Lads Winery: Laddie Come Home

Posted on May 11, 2012 by intoxreport

In setting the kibble-strewn stage, Lassie Come Home was a 1943 MGM tearjerker starring Roddy McDowell (as young Joe) and ‘Pal’ (who played Lassie) that ultimately launched the syrupy television series; in the film version, the Yorkshire Carraclough family, having … Continue reading →

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Zima, Why Can’t I Quit You?

Posted on May 10, 2012 by intoxreport

I have a friend called Cori who recently asked me for some bourbon advice because she planned to give her boyfriend a fifth of small batch for his birthday, and although she’d already found the liquor, she was iffy on giving … Continue reading →

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Verterra Winery And My Personal Quest For Jim Harrison

Posted on May 9, 2012 by intoxreport

Long ago and far away, when many of you whippersnappers were still drinking wine out of Evenflo baby bottles and I was scarcely old enough to steal vodka from my parents’ liquor cabinet, I headed up to the Leelanau Peninsula … Continue reading →

Posted in Leelanau Peninsula, Michigan, MIDWEST | Tagged , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

20 Reasons Why I Grow Pot—And 20 More Why You Should Too

Posted on April 25, 2012 by intoxreport

Say what you want about the Mexican drug lords, but they do not fuck around.  If you happen to show up on their radar screen, you may discover that a Columbian necktie is not something you can purchase at Lisa … Continue reading →

Posted in GENERAL, MEXICO | Tagged , , | 1 Comment

Kassel Is Emasculated By An Empowerpuff Public Relations Morselette (And Brian Howlett)

Posted on April 24, 2012 by intoxreport

Ever heard of a cocktail called a Mint Julep?  How about a Mai Tai? Yeah; me too, so why is the publicist from Empower Public Relations sending me emails listing them among ‘Five Cocktails You May Not Have Heard Of’? … Continue reading →

Posted in GENERAL, LIQUOR, Miscellaneous | Tagged , , , | 1 Comment

Alabammy Bound—And Gagged, When It Comes To Dirty Bastard Ale

Posted on April 23, 2012 by intoxreport

Here are some things that used to be illegal for a black person to do in Alabama: Marry a honky Urinate in the same pissoir as a white person Be treated for an illness by a white doctor Be committed … Continue reading →

Posted in BEER | Tagged , | 5 Comments

Let’s Slip Out Of These Dry Clothes And Into A Wet Martini

Posted on April 23, 2012 by intoxreport

For those of you who think there is only one authentic martini—four parts gin, one part vermouth and an olive the size of Luca Brasi’s left coglione—Louie The Lush and me have an offer you can’t refuse. And speaking of … Continue reading →

Posted in Cab/Merlot, Napa | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Frei Vs. Fre: One Has An ‘I’; One Doesn’t. One Has A ‘High’; One Doesn’t.

Posted on April 21, 2012 by intoxreport

Mad Magazine was the fundamental catalyst in my kidhood drive to write humor for a living.  Advancing alcoholism is why I made wine, beer and spirits my venue. Remember that old Spy vs. Spy panel cartoon?  Where the white ‘n’ … Continue reading →

Posted in CALIFORNIA, Dry Creek, Sonoma | Tagged , , , | 2 Comments