Author Archives: intoxreport

Can ‘Forgiven’ Be Forgiven For Stalking Me Until I Wrote This Review?

Posted on November 24, 2013 by intoxreport

I love, love, love customer product  testimonials. “This shit really works!!! I swear by it!!! I can drink all night… Take forgiven… Drink 2 bottles of water before bed… And feel totally refreshed in the morning at work!!!!” says Nichole … Continue reading →

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Scrawny Scribes Scrawl Scraggy Screeds—Steve Heimoff Screwed

Posted on November 21, 2013 by intoxreport

Nice people don’t realize it, but when they try to get all acerbic and mean, they sound lame.  And do you know why they don’t realize it?  Because they’re nice, that’s why.  A nice person being mean is like a … Continue reading →

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Paso Robles Wine Country: Bo Barry And The Dark Side Of The Moon

Posted on November 16, 2013 by intoxreport

(This piece is an excerpt from ‘A Rite Of Paso: Paso Robles Wine Country’ to be released December 1, 2013 by Intoxicology Press, LLC.) Ol’ Bo Barry wants his city back, and brother, is he determined to get it—and ol’ Bo doesn’t … Continue reading →

Posted in CALIFORNIA, GENERAL, Paso Robles | Tagged , | 3 Comments

Re: Re:Find: A Re:Markable Find

Posted on November 7, 2013 by intoxreport

(This piece, as well as the last two columns posted, are excerpts from ‘A Rite Of Paso: Paso Robles Wine Country’ to be released December 1, 2013 by Intoxicology Press, LLC.) If Alex Trebek posed the answer, ‘The smartest guy in … Continue reading →

Posted in LIQUOR, Paso Robles, Vodka | Tagged , , | 2 Comments

Brady’s Bunches: Robert Hall Winery

Posted on October 27, 2013 by intoxreport

If another 6.5 magnitude earthquake hits Paso Robles like the one that collapsed the city’s landmark clock tower in 2003—and it will—you’d be challenged to find yourself in a better situation than touring the 19,000 square foot cavern under Robert … Continue reading →

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This Nutcracker’s Sweet: Jutta Thoerner, Manzanita Manor Organics

Posted on October 26, 2013 by intoxreport

I wound up writing about Paso Robles wine country instead of any other wine country partly because when I mentioned it to a friend, he asked, “Is that in Texas?” Not only that, but I seriously didn’t even know how … Continue reading →

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Bryan Ulbrich Puts His Best Foot Forward—The Left One

Posted on September 29, 2013 by intoxreport

Really sensational music made by really phenomenal musicians allows us to overlook really dopey band names, right?  Which is why we can listen to The White Album without rolling our eyes. Really sensational wine made by really phenomenal winemakers enjoys … Continue reading →

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Fitting A Square Bottle Into An A-Hole

Posted on September 21, 2013 by intoxreport

Tomorrow night, when we are gluing ourselves to our television sets with the remains of Mr. Ed and watching the 65th Annual Emmy Awards, a quiet revolution will be taking place. That’s when Truett-Hurst Inc. will release their much ballyhooed … Continue reading →

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Is Chris Kassel Gooder Than Jamie Goode? For Me To Know And You To Find Out

Posted on September 20, 2013 by intoxreport

Saw a plug for The Goode Wine Guide, Jamie Goode’s three part tutorial on wine ‘…from Britain to Bulgaria’, and it occurred to me that the lucky star under which the limey Londonese lecturer wound up with a name like … Continue reading →

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Double Down On The Trésor: Baby Needs A New Pair Of Shoes

Posted on September 19, 2013 by intoxreport

Ferrari-Carano has always been a ballin bling-bling operation—the reasons for which were said by Edgar Allen Poe a century before either Ferrari or Carano were born: When madness takes your stash of cash, And dumps it down the Lotto, You … Continue reading →

Posted in CALIFORNIA, Sonoma | Tagged , , , | 1 Comment