Author Archives: intoxreport

Cider: Easy To Be Hard

Posted on June 29, 2014 by intoxreport

Some of the ideals upon which this country was founded—around the time we stole it from the Indians—are worth leaving on history’s toxic waste dump.  Slavery, the inequality of women, child labor, taxation (even with representation) were bad career moves, … Continue reading →

Posted in CIDER | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Grin And Beerenauslese: Father Knows Best

Posted on June 24, 2014 by intoxreport

I’m no Robert Young, but when my children come over on Fathers Day, we tend to drink like him.  Yes, that irrepressible insurance monger Jim Anderson—who Young sought to portray as the sort of non-boob, non-dimwitted patriarch he thought would be … Continue reading →

Posted in AUSTRIA | Tagged , , | 1 Comment

A Summertime Favorite: Korn On The Job

Posted on June 18, 2014 by intoxreport

* Final day for voting in Wine Blog Awards 2014, for which this column is nominated in ‘Best Writing On A Wine Blog’.  http://wineblogawards.org/ if you intend to vote for me.   Otherwise, move along, nothing to see here…   Every … Continue reading →

Posted in GENERAL, Provence, Rhône | Tagged , , | 1 Comment

Real Men Drink Gill. Whilst Wrestling Quiche…

Posted on May 24, 2014 by intoxreport

I served a very metrosexual quiche at a dinner party last week, and guess what wine I served alongside it?  A hefty syrah from Michael Gill Cellars in Paso Robles. Now, among wine circles, such an abominable pairing is a faux … Continue reading →

Posted in CALIFORNIA, Paso Robles, Syrah/Shiraz | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Michigan Wine Month, 2014: The State Of The Ouch

Posted on April 29, 2014 by intoxreport

It’s basically May and there’s still snow in the vineyards.  In fact, there’s still snow in the forecast.  The leaden ice sheet that lingers over Grand Traverse Bay is bizarre; this stretch of water, generally South Pacific turquoise at this … Continue reading →

Posted in Leelanau Peninsula, Michigan | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Join The N.R.A. And Get A Free Ticket To The Vegan Expo

Posted on April 15, 2014 by intoxreport

Well, not quite.  But close.  Yesterday, in the same spirit that rubba-neckin’ Bubba McCan-Koozie goes apeshit when NASCAR cars crash, I represented the Anti-Press at the annual Vegan Tastefest in Novi. Over the years, among my fellow bleeding-heart liberals, I … Continue reading →

Posted in GENERAL | Tagged | 3 Comments

Helfrich Produces No Dogs, Thank You Very Much

Posted on April 10, 2014 by intoxreport

I know a wine writer who berates other wine writers who use the ‘A’ word.  I won’t give her name, but I will say that she resembles a yeti, and not in a wholesome, Julia Child sort of way. Now, … Continue reading →

Posted in Alsace, FRANCE | Tagged , , | 3 Comments

Bret Wine Never Tasted So Fine

Posted on April 8, 2014 by intoxreport

Can you guess why Mel Practice opted out of a career in medicine? Of course you can.  Same reason that the Scheister Brothers don’t have a law firm or why Sam ‘n’ Ella don’t open a sushi bar. So, when … Continue reading →

Posted in Burgundy, Chardonnay | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Relax, Wine Business: Kathie Lee Has Arrived

Posted on March 20, 2014 by intoxreport

The global wine industry—beleaguered by the recent recession, fickle vintages, lazy retailers, semi-literate historiographers and the idiotic 100-point scoring scale—may be likened to the Frankish army at Anatolia, Wellington’s forces at Waterloo, the 2nd Ox at Pegasus Bridge or Gandalf … Continue reading →

Posted in CALIFORNIA, GENERAL, Monterey | Tagged , | 1 Comment

You’re A Good Manic, Stillman Brown

Posted on March 17, 2014 by intoxreport

As a man of honor, as well as the kind of ‘showman’ wine writer who is willing to go to any length required to keep you, the reader, on the edge of your seats—up to (and including) transgressive acts, coprophagia, … Continue reading →

Posted in CALIFORNIA, Paso Robles, Syrah/Shiraz | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment