Author Archives: intoxreport

But, Will It Wash In Washington?

Damn straight it will. Personally, I’ve been a cheerleader for the wines of Washington ever since I was old enough to wear a five-stripe pleated skirt.  Prolific parameters of production aside, the Washington wine industry is still in its relative … Continue reading

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Michael Green Decants His Dog; Pass It On

What’s the difference between wine writer Michael Green and moi? I mean, other than his five-star education, superior working knowledge, pixie-like profile and ability to see dead people? This: Michael Green proudly pronounces that he decants everything, while I assure … Continue reading

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I See Motown, I See France; I Just Bought ‘The Wedding Dance’

Although Detroit was founded as a New France fur trading post, the French themselves left us little by way of culture, and for that, we should probably be grateful.  But they did leave us a bunch of street names.  ‘Detroit’, … Continue reading

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Mazel Tov, Asimov: Your Label Scheme Doth Make Me Scoff

‘If it says ‘enzyme, enzyme, enzyme’ on the label, label, label, You should dump it  down the crapper while you’re able, able, able…’ – ‘70’s wine commercial from The Health and Red Tape Network, pre-cable, cable, cable Eric Asimov is … Continue reading

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Conspiracy Is A Theory Like Evolution Is A Theory, Krümel

In the enological discipline to which we have dedicated our professional lives,  a ‘theory’ is a rigorously tested statement of general principle that explains observable and recorded aspects of wine, wineries and winos. In wine science, a theory stands until … Continue reading

Posted in CALIFORNIA, Paso Robles | Tagged , , , , , | 2 Comments

Bung, Bung, Bung, Bung: Mr. Sandeman, Bring Me A Port

How best to celebrate World Sherry Day, Sunday, May 26th? By writing about port, of course. Sherry Schmerry, Quite Contrary… …we know where your garden grows.  Spain, specifically Puerto de Santa María, Jerez and Sanlúcar de Barrameda.  Don’t get me … Continue reading

Posted in Port, PORTUGAL | Tagged , | 4 Comments

‘Tis Ignoble; The Grape’s a Bluffer…

‘There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow wines; true nobility is being superior to your former plonk.’ – Ernest Hemingway, more or less. Noble Grapes Earlier today, I had a spirited discussion about the genuine translation and import of … Continue reading

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Absinthe of ‘Alice’

Bernard Black (proprietor of Black Books) referred to it as ‘the drink that makes you want to kill yourself.’ Oscar Wilde claimed, ‘After the first glass of absinthe you see things as you wish they were…’, by which he may … Continue reading

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Yo Ho Ho, And A Bottle Of Mosel

Like the wine, the captain of the Vliegend Hert went down with the ship.  Unlike the wine, the captain never came up again. Background Check: In 1980, a shipwreck was discovered off the coast of Holland that contained thousands of … Continue reading

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Baffled By Big, Bad Buffs? Bite Me, Barclay Brothers

The Telegraph—a London-based  newspaper owned by David and Frederick Barclay—has published a sort of strange piece written by Jasper Copping suggesting that the average wine consumer is ‘baffled’ by the descriptors we stiff-necked, too-big-for-our-smarty-pants wine writers use to describe various … Continue reading

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