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Category Archives: GENERAL
How To Write About Wine Like Robert Parker Jr.
What’s the dillio with all the RPJ slaggin’, yo? He’s never called women sluts like Rush Limbaugh; he’s never referred to black people as ‘little monkeys’ like Howard Cosell and (as far as I know) he’s never publicly announced a … Continue reading
The Bluto Blutarsky Guide To Wine Appreciation
On the surface I have nothing against microwaved ramen noodles, downloading music illegally, wearing hoodies with school logos or any of the other inexplicably wacked-out things things that college kids do, but I see no reason why they should have … Continue reading
‘A Cask Of Amontillado’ For My Funky Valentine
Thinking pink? Or, red instead? The usual Valentine wine line? This year, consider considering outside the Whitman Sampler® box. Of course, most columns written about this over-written-about subject will lean toward recommending wines that pair well with chocolate, and not … Continue reading
Posted in GENERAL, PAIRING WINE AND FOOD
Tagged Matching wine with chocolate, sherry, Valentine's Day wines
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What’s In A Name, Other Than ‘Insane Fornicating Testicles’? Ask The Chinese…
What is the deal with Chinese people and wine, anyway? In 2011, Commieville wine sales rose by 20%–most of it intended for the gullets of the PRC’s upwardly-mobile millions—and meanwhile, Chinese investors have kicked the price of Bordeaux futures through … Continue reading
Could Kramer Be Lamer? WTF, WS?
If you imagine that the following response to a recent Matt Kramer column in Wine Spectator is less about Matt muddlement and more about some lingering humiliation over WS’s refusal to publish a piece I wrote about Swiss wine, you … Continue reading
Don’t Gack Into That Morning-After Super Bowl: Bytox Is ‘Hangover B-12 Gone’
For those who awoke this morning with Belichick-quality blues, unable to quite recall last night, here’s the play-by-play: First Quarter: 15:00: Stephen Gostkowski kicks off to the NYG 2. Jerrel Jernigan returns for 21 yards to the NYG 23 and … Continue reading
Posted in BEER, GENERAL
Tagged Bytox patches, Eli manning, hangover cure, hangovers, Superbowl 46, Tom Brady
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A Triumphant Triumvirate That Trumped A Troop of Trifling Tricksters: Ronn Wiegand, Gerard Basset And Doug Frost
What do Ronn Wiegand, Gerard Basset, Doug Frost have in common? Well, if you’re a cork dork, you already know, and if you’re not, you don’t care. Digression: I know a guy with both a law degree and a medical … Continue reading
Posted in GENERAL
Tagged Court of Master Sommeliers, Doug Frost, Gerard Basset, Master of Wine, Ronn Wiegand, Smaster Sommelier
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Mr. Natural Wine Sez: ‘YOU’RE The Right Tool For The Job, You Tool’
Unlike most wine columnists, I never get ‘writer’s block’. Au contraire, I deny that the phenomenon—whereby people who can’t think of anything to say go ahead and say it anyway—even exists. Oh, sure, sometimes our personal muses get all PMSsy, … Continue reading
Posted in GENERAL
Tagged Alice Fiering, Eric Asimov, Michel Schapoutier, Robert Parker Jr., Whole Foods
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Tits For Taittinger: S.A.G, Not Saggy
As a connotation, as a concept and as a cliché, Champagne is a titillating tipple, entangled in seduction, raveled in sex and wrung out into seven-ounce flutes as a morning-after testimonial. Therefore, when I developed an instantaneous crush on Champagne … Continue reading
Posted in Champagne, GENERAL
Tagged Pierre-Emmanuel Taittinger, SAG Award, Screen Actor's Guild Awards, Vitalie Taittinger
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Pairing Wine With Spices: The ‘It’ Flavors Of 2012
Once a year, the multibillion dollar spice spigot called McCormick & Co. releases a sprinkle of predictions about what flavors will be in vogue during upcoming months—a compilation collected by their posse of parlously picky palate probers including staff chefs, … Continue reading
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