Author Archives: intoxreport

Darryl Is A Camel Jockey; Pass It On

Posted on March 2, 2013 by intoxreport

If you’ve been in the wine business since the mid-nineteenth century like Darryl and me, your majestical roof—your brave overhanging firmament—probably resembles the sky above Selfridge Air Base during pilot training week.  Lots of criss-crossing contrails with comrades in arms, … Continue reading →

Posted in CALIFORNIA, Sonoma | Tagged , , , , , | 1 Comment

When It Says Lobby, Lobby, Lobby On The Label, Label, Label…

Posted on February 28, 2013 by intoxreport

…you know that common sense is off the table, table, table. At one time—before I accepted Jesus as my Lord and personal savior—I was somewhat judgmental.  I know, I know; you’re all like, huh?  You??!  But it’s perfectly true, people.  … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , | 3 Comments

Calling All Vegans: Unfriend In Need!

Posted on February 26, 2013 by intoxreport

You guys probably know more about Facebook protocol than me, so tell me this: After you ‘unfriend’ somebody, is it customary to send them twelve (count ‘em) private messages in which you refer to your new best unfriend—in this case, … Continue reading →

Posted in GENERAL | Tagged , , | 3 Comments

Barack Buggers Big Beer: Bravo!

Posted on February 25, 2013 by intoxreport

When it comes to learning new words, I am pretty much on the fence.  Like, I vacillate.  It would seem that my inbred, Leonardo-level lust for learning—the product of a nearly bionic brain and a four-digit IQ (not to brag, … Continue reading →

Posted in BEER | Tagged , , , , , | 1 Comment

Must-Serve Wines For The Oscars! Yes, I’m Kidding

Posted on February 23, 2013 by intoxreport

During the hard time I served as Detroit Free Press wine critic, I worked for a screw editor who had been plucked from the paper’s Fashion Page. Why she was offered—or accepted—a position as Food Page Editor is a mystery best … Continue reading →

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Trinkets And Tchotchkes And Geegaws And Swag…

Posted on February 22, 2013 by intoxreport

..and still the young lady remains on the rag. Whether between the heads of sovereign states, business associates, troglodyte tribes in the tropics or horny men expecting quid pro blowjob reciprocation, the tradition of gift-giving is firmly entrenched in human … Continue reading →

Posted in GENERAL | Tagged , | 1 Comment

Grape Seeds: Oil Make Something Of Ya Yet!

Posted on February 21, 2013 by intoxreport

Nearly everyone on earth knows that there is no such thing as a Leprechaun that isn’t actually that wee oaf Matt Roloff mugging about in a green top hat on St. Paddy’s Day; likewise, most folks understand that there is … Continue reading →

Posted in CALIFORNIA, GENERAL, Napa | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Celebrity Wine Is Truly The Pitts

Posted on February 18, 2013 by intoxreport

Truth be told, my Intoxicology Report editors don’t like me—not one little bit.  They don’t like my literary style, my superiority complex or my cute Lucy Ball poodle do—in short, they don’t like the cut of my jib.  They are … Continue reading →

Posted in GENERAL, Provence | Tagged , , , | 5 Comments

Few In Mendoza Are Mendozing

Posted on February 17, 2013 by intoxreport

Mendoza, Argentina is a land of loveliness and lore, enoturismo and earthquakes, fiestas and Fernando Fader (1882-1935): The first post-impressionist painter in South America. The area surrounding Mendoza is also the largest wine producing region in Latin America.  With an … Continue reading →

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Spa Vs. Spa

Posted on February 15, 2013 by intoxreport

Did you know that ‘spa’ is an acronym for  ‘self-indulgent pretentious ass-wipe’? If you didn’t, you should read this column more often, because that’s the kind of arcane crap you are always learning around here. Anyway, if the word ‘spa’ … Continue reading →

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