Author Archives: intoxreport

Earth Day, 2013: Mirth First, Earth Second. Booyah!

Posted on April 15, 2013 by intoxreport

Personally, I am a sucker for Earth Day.  Especially compared to other inane holidays such as Talk Like a Pirate Day, Christmas Day and whatever that one is where we celebrate veterans who had the good sense not to get … Continue reading →

Posted in GENERAL | Tagged | 2 Comments

Hempiatris: Wine, Wódka and Bong

Posted on April 14, 2013 by intoxreport

As a fellow who (sans shame) looks stuff up on Wikipedia, then pretends he already knew it—or worse, made it up himself—I will hitherto explain the above, crackerjack scarehead: A ‘hendiatris’ (from the Greek: ἓν διὰ τριῶν, hèn dià triôn, … Continue reading →

Posted in CANADA, GENERAL | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Brown-Bagging With Petite Sirah

Posted on April 13, 2013 by intoxreport

I’ve known Stillman Brown since he was knee high to an ass-hopper; by which I mean, before he decided he was straight. See, I can make stupid jokes like that about Stillman Brown (no relation to Encyclopedia, Ford  Madox or … Continue reading →

Posted in Paso Robles | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Whan That Aprille With His Photo Ops Sweet…

Posted on March 22, 2013 by intoxreport

(Apologies, Chaucer). Newsflash, March 21, 2013: LANSING — Governor Rick Snyder has declared April as ‘Michigan Wine Month’ to honor Michigan’s wide selection of quality wines and the wine industry’s significant contribution to the economy… I was sent this press … Continue reading →

Posted in GENERAL, Michigan, MIDWEST | Tagged | Leave a comment

Le Beaujolais Oldveau Est Arrivé

Posted on March 21, 2013 by intoxreport

I happen to like Beaujolais Nouveau. And I often get called a panty-waisted momma’s boy eunuch, without taste, testosterone or a grasp of life’s finer pleasures. Not because I like Beaujolais Nouveau, of course, but because I also like that … Continue reading →

Posted in Beaujolais, Gamay, Gamay | Tagged , , | 2 Comments

Enough With The Shite Slinging—Let’s Dish Some Dirt Instead

Posted on March 8, 2013 by intoxreport

‘Those who can, do; those who can’t, teach; those who can neither do nor teach become wine critics.’ I often send petitions of thanks to the Irish god Lugh that I did not pursue a career in winemaking, because sure … Continue reading →

Posted in GENERAL | Tagged , , | 2 Comments

Master-Level Wine Webinar? We’ll Burn That Bridge When We Come To It

Posted on March 6, 2013 by intoxreport

I just received a ‘last call’ e-card from the French saying ‘Wish you were here! —and for what you will pay for the Sud de France Master-Level Webinar Program, you might as well be.’ The deal is this: For a … Continue reading →

Posted in GENERAL, Languedoc-Roussillon | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments

Assorted Smart-Asseries From The Wonderful World Of Wine

Posted on March 5, 2013 by intoxreport

As most of you know, in 2003 I was booted from the doctoral program at UC Davis for attempting to sell crack cocaine to all four members of the Supervisory Committee, for trying to finance my sixth semester with Monopoly … Continue reading →

Posted in GENERAL | 4 Comments

‘Zin Zone’, Zabaco And Zsa Zsa Gabor

Posted on March 4, 2013 by intoxreport

The letter ‘z’ is a bit off-kilter, wouldn’t you say?  It lurks in the rear of the classroom, rarely raising its crooked hand, and when called upon by the teacher to answer a question, ‘z’ frequently bullies ‘x’ into doing … Continue reading →

Posted in Dry Creek, Zinfandel | Tagged , , , , , | 3 Comments

Eenie, Meenie, Santorini: Wines To Serve With Prawn Linguini

Posted on March 4, 2013 by intoxreport

120 miles southwest of mainland Greece there is a wisp of an island upon which mighty things have happened, are happening, and—the Twelve Olympians willing—will continue to happen long after you and I are riding point during the zombie apocalypse. … Continue reading →

Posted in GREECE | Tagged , , , , , | 2 Comments