Author Archives: intoxreport

Sommosexuality: Not That There’s Anything Wrong With It

Posted on August 11, 2015 by intoxreport

We’ve come a long way, baby. When I was a puerile punk, drinking wine—if we drank wine at all—was restricted to Froot Loops brands like Tyrolia and Annie Green Springs.  Wine without the word ‘cooler’ attached was as rare to … Continue reading →

Posted in GENERAL | Tagged | 3 Comments

Dear Riedel: ‘Hand-blown’ is an Oxymoron, You Twats

Posted on August 7, 2015 by intoxreport

In an effort to take some of the legal heat off my blood brother Ron Washam, consider this the journalistic equivalent of a mother duck faking a broken wing to distract the predators from her loved ones. I urge all … Continue reading →

Posted in GENERAL | Tagged , | 1 Comment

Buy My Book Or God Will Destroy You

Posted on August 6, 2015 by intoxreport

Let’s not equivocate here, kay kay?  Even stone-cold atheists recognize that I am one of God’s favorites. My mother recognized it at birth when she noticed that my pupils were horizontal rather than round; my father recognized it during my … Continue reading →

Posted in Michigan | Tagged , | 3 Comments

Gypsy Canyon Wine with Thai Dogs: Match Made in Doggie Heaven

Posted on August 2, 2015 by intoxreport

A perfect recipe for the dog days of summer! Thai Dogs Ingredients: 1/2 pound cups fresh squid, cut into bite-size rings 1 large onion, chopped 2 chopped garden beetles 4 ounces Việt-Huong Fish Sauce 2-3 fresh Thai chili peppers 2 … Continue reading →

Posted in CALIFORNIA | Tagged , , , | 5 Comments

Alemany i Corrio: Fusion in Collusion

Posted on August 1, 2015 by intoxreport

What do you get when you mix a Frenchman trained in Dijon with a Spaniard from Vilafranca del Penedès? Alemany i Corrio, that’s what—whose Sot Lefriec is dubbed either a garagiste masterpiece or a jewel of the Penedès, depending on … Continue reading →

Posted in SPAIN | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Sorry, Boys: Brosé Sounds Totally Gé

Posted on July 29, 2015 by intoxreport

I just read an article in The Telegraph that I mistook for an article in The Onion, because The Telegraph doesn’t go out of its way to be facetious and The Onion goes so far out of its way to … Continue reading →

Posted in GENERAL | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments

Kickstarter: Fund MY Dreams, Not Yours

Posted on July 25, 2015 by intoxreport

‘Doing obscure, cool shit costs money.  Why waste your own?’ If I ran a crowd funding platform—the post-modern answer to standing on a freeway on-ramp holding a misspelled sign—that’s the slogan I’d use.  And if I was marketing to donators … Continue reading →

Posted in GENERAL | Tagged , , , | 5 Comments

Charlotte’s Telaraña

Posted on July 23, 2015 by intoxreport

Any British woman who sends a townful of Spaniards an invitation to a Battle of Trafalgar Anniversary Party is my kinda broad. The fact that October 21 (the date Lord Nelson defeated the Spanish Navy during the Napoleonic Wars) also … Continue reading →

Posted in SPAIN | Tagged , , , | 1 Comment

Spanish Nor’Wester: A Mighty Wine

Posted on July 19, 2015 by intoxreport

Northwest Spain is a treasure trove of venerable varietals, most of which are completely unknown to American consumers and their strange fixation on the familiar. For example, Carrasquín.  One of four grapes native to Asturias, it produces a dark, muscular … Continue reading →

Posted in SPAIN | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Antichrist Miracle? Wine Without Water

Posted on July 18, 2015 by intoxreport

Water should not be a source of agita to me, but it is.  When I was a kid, getting a drink of water was a pain-free proposition: I got a glass out of the dish rack next to the sink, … Continue reading →

Posted in GENERAL | Tagged , , | Leave a comment