Category Archives: GENERAL

Christmas: The Alternate Endings

Posted on December 5, 2014 by intoxreport

Although I wear the social face of an altruistic wine scholar while living a public existence of citizenship, leadership and responsibility (using life skills I learned at the 4-H Club—‘Heart, Hands, Health and Heroin’), the truth of the matter is … Continue reading →

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Introducing The ‘Fcuk, Marry, Kill’ Wine Scale

Posted on November 29, 2014 by intoxreport

Call it the ‘Great American Novel’ for wine writers who can scarcely manage to scratch out a legible blog. Or the Holy Grail for atheists; the better mouse trap for entrepreneurs; the honest man for Diogenesians; the solution to the … Continue reading →

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Send Me Free Wine, But Only Stuff I Like. You’re Welcome.

Posted on November 16, 2014 by intoxreport

I consider other wine bloggers to be ‘colleagues’ like I consider Honey Boo Boo’s family to be fellow Homo sapiens. It’s a concession to rude reality, nothing more. Case in point:  A ‘colleague’ in Denver recently sent out a mass-mailing … Continue reading →

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Seven Drinking Games For AA Members

Posted on November 11, 2014 by intoxreport

We all know that half the fun of getting drunk is playing puerile drinking games to get even drunker, and we also all know that just because you’ve proven yourself to be so ineffective as a responsible grown-up that you … Continue reading →

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Dressing For Digressing: Puttin’ On The Shitz

Posted on October 30, 2014 by intoxreport

Before we go further, it’s ‘fess up time.  I’m a bit of a bully.  And really, I have been a bit of a bully for my entire life.  I’m told that when I was baptized, I was nonverbally intimidating to … Continue reading →

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Getting Your Goat At Traverse City’s Baddest Bodega

Posted on October 3, 2014 by intoxreport

Long ago and far away, no circumambulation of Northern Michigan wine country was complete without a didactic pit-stop at the odd blue shop wedged between Peninsula Drive and E. Front Street. There, surrounded by a cornucopia of bottles from distant … Continue reading →

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I’m Too Good For Wine Reviews

Posted on October 1, 2014 by intoxreport

You know, sometimes, when the lights outside grow dim and the walls of my room start closing in, it occurs to me that despite having written more than two million words on wine over the years, and four hundred columns on … Continue reading →

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White Chicks Are Hotter Than Black Chicks

Posted on September 25, 2014 by intoxreport

Or is it the other way around?  I really don’t care; I am just trying to get your attention, fill column inches, make deadlines and stir up a little bad blood, because you know what?  I’m a bad blood stirrer-upper. … Continue reading →

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Gérard Depardieuchebag

Posted on September 19, 2014 by intoxreport

First off, I don’t buy it: The bizarre claim made by French luné-toon Gérard Depardieu about drinking fourteen bottles of wine a day has been greeted with a combination of awe, back-slapping, high-fiving, hero worship and a little bit of … Continue reading →

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When Wine Writers Go Rogue…

Posted on September 9, 2014 by intoxreport

Among my roster of social media fīda Achates, I number a number of wine writers.  Most wine writers, in fact.  It’s not because I particularly like wine writers; on the contrary, I dislike the bulk of them with the sort … Continue reading →

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