Category Archives: GENERAL

Dear Riedel: ‘Hand-blown’ is an Oxymoron, You Twats

Posted on August 7, 2015 by intoxreport

In an effort to take some of the legal heat off my blood brother Ron Washam, consider this the journalistic equivalent of a mother duck faking a broken wing to distract the predators from her loved ones. I urge all … Continue reading →

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Sorry, Boys: Brosé Sounds Totally Gé

Posted on July 29, 2015 by intoxreport

I just read an article in The Telegraph that I mistook for an article in The Onion, because The Telegraph doesn’t go out of its way to be facetious and The Onion goes so far out of its way to … Continue reading →

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Kickstarter: Fund MY Dreams, Not Yours

Posted on July 25, 2015 by intoxreport

‘Doing obscure, cool shit costs money.  Why waste your own?’ If I ran a crowd funding platform—the post-modern answer to standing on a freeway on-ramp holding a misspelled sign—that’s the slogan I’d use.  And if I was marketing to donators … Continue reading →

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Antichrist Miracle? Wine Without Water

Posted on July 18, 2015 by intoxreport

Water should not be a source of agita to me, but it is.  When I was a kid, getting a drink of water was a pain-free proposition: I got a glass out of the dish rack next to the sink, … Continue reading →

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Is ‘Omerta’ an Indian Word?

Posted on July 16, 2015 by intoxreport

People are generally a bit surprised to find out that there is a Canadian Mafia, primarily because* the two concepts seem so incompatible. * (I was going to say ‘chiefly’ because, but in the wake of Washington Redskins Name-Scandalgate, I thought … Continue reading →

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Robert Parker Wants Make-Up Sex, That’s All

Posted on July 5, 2015 by intoxreport

It’s a mixed-up, jumbled-up, webbed-up world, kids, and what you just read is known as ‘clickbait’—a provocative headline designed to generate reader hits. And you bit, suckers. First, let me apologize for baiting your click then calling you suckers: “I … Continue reading →

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Wine, Winchesters and the Same Old Song ‘n’ Dance

Posted on July 1, 2015 by intoxreport

We all know the futility of arguing on the internet, but I believe I have elevated argumentum  inutilis to a fine art by getting into a debate with a pair of British wine experts about American gun laws. The kerfuffle … Continue reading →

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Rebel With a Clause

Posted on June 26, 2015 by intoxreport

(On Sept. 15, 2015, at precisely 3:17:23 PM EST, this column will return to wine, but will only be visible in the Northern Hemisphere and parts of Kenya.) The other night in a candid interview about gun violence and race, … Continue reading →

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Wine and Vegan Soul Food

Posted on June 21, 2015 by intoxreport

Let me take a brief pause from not writing about wine in my wine blog and instead, avoid writing about wine in the context of wine. Are you with me? Wine pairing columns are legion, but they tend not to … Continue reading →

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There’s A Boner-Jam of Sommeliers… And Nobody Can Pronounce The Word

Posted on June 16, 2015 by intoxreport

We all have our pet peeves, don’t we?  Whether it is people talking on cell phones at checkout counters, forms you have to fill out that don’t give you enough room to answer the questions, duck-face selfies and/or people who … Continue reading →

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