Category Archives: GENERAL

Is Rob Priddle the Most Boring Wine Writer in Existence?

Of course not!   He is a keen wine journalist with a trusty palate, an eye for what’s hot and talent for writing mouth-watering reviews.  And what does he want?  He want to enlighten folks like you and me.  And when … Continue reading

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GoFundMe; Ma Vaffanculo

If I am bombarded with another vow of poverty from some hack wanting me to send him free money to pay for a wine book he hasn’t written yet, I may commit Harry Karis. This ancient method of ritual suicide … Continue reading

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Banksy’s Identity Revealed: He’s Andy Borowitz in Tenth Grade

Not really. But sometimes, don’t we all wish that this juggernaut pop culture train could be wrapped up in yesterday’s New Yorker and stored on a shelf of puerile simplicity, much as Banksy and Andy try to do? Earlier this week, … Continue reading

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10 Ways to Tell if Your Cardiologist Passed Anatomy Class

That’s a silly headline, isn’t it?  Obviously your cardiologist passed anatomy class.  Cardio surgeons are anatomy people; they walk, talk and breathe anatomy; they bring up ligamentum arteriosums at dinner parties and have sexual dreams involving Scarlett Johansson’s left ventricle. … Continue reading

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Unnatural Detroit, Naturally

…I’m taking a brief sabbatical from Intoxicology Report to write a pair of wine books.  ‘Norton Wine: Walking Off To Look For America’, a book about a genuine native American varietal that can, in its best incarnation, rival vitis vinifera.  … Continue reading

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When Chefs Go Rogue: Tesar Tasers Tony B.

I’m old enough to remember when Jimmy Carter almost deep-sixed his 1976 presidential bid by telling Playboy magazine that he ‘lusted after women in his heart’. In those days, a pious Christian family-man simply did not make those sorts of … Continue reading

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Like We All Haven’t Done That, #682

An Open Letter to Josseleen Elida Lopez: Don’t let the bastards get you down, sugar-hips: We’ve all outlived these kinds of moral meltdowns. I’m referring to your recent 15 minutes of fame where your 15% blood alcohol level will likely … Continue reading

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Dreaming of a Black Plague Christmas? Here’s the Ticket…

As you can well imagine, Christmas traditions are very important at the Kassel homestead.  As such, all the bad little Kasselites found fossilized carbon in their stockings this year and the bad little wine patriarch—moi—ended up with vinegar. But not … Continue reading

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I’m The Bluto of SommDay School

Mea Maxima Culpa: On occasion, I pick on Master Sommeliers.  That happens to be cold-ass reality; I’m in the wine game for the lolz, not for the respect or the badges or the profits. And my issue—if you can legitimately … Continue reading

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‘The Jinx Fragment’—Unnatural Detroit, Naturally

I’ve intentionally kept Intoxicology Report ad-free for five years because I don’t want my opinions or your support to be in any way beholden.  My books, however, I sorta do want to sell (!) In my halcyon days, when I … Continue reading

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