Category Archives: GENERAL

What Country Has The REAL Bourbon Dynasty Again?

Posted on March 3, 2015 by intoxreport

Oh, those wacky, laugh-a-minute French.  What with their Jerry Lewis Fan Clubs, socially-constipated mimes, Charlie Hebdo (Mad Magazine for Islamophobes) and Les Tontons Flingueurs quoting, it’s a wonder they have any time to lose wars. But, giving the French space … Continue reading →

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I Am The Joan Rivers Of The Wine-Blog Oscars

Posted on February 27, 2015 by intoxreport

Truly, I am.  Like Bon Jovi and the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame; Nabokov without an aurelian badge from Nobel; Chita Rivera, the firebrand Latina unable to sing her way into a Tony. That’s me: Never the bridesmaid let … Continue reading →

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Forget ‘Wine With Chocolate’; What Wine Goes With Those Cute Li’l Candy Hearts That Say ‘Blow Me’?

Posted on February 10, 2015 by intoxreport

One of the reasons I am a low-paid blogger instead of a highly-paid critic for The Daily Planet—a great metropolitan newspaper—is that I don’t do obligatory. Obligatory wine columns preceding holidays are, in the minds of many editors, pablum for … Continue reading →

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Non-Stupid-Sounding Tasting Notes: The Final Frontier

Posted on January 31, 2015 by intoxreport

In a world filled with terrorist temper tantrums, approaching asteroids and diseases that make your eyeballs bleed, I spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about wine tasting notes. And here’s why: In theory, there exists a wine note format … Continue reading →

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Last Chance To Secure Seats At The ‘Writers Write; Everyone Else Attends Symposiums’ Symposium

Posted on January 27, 2015 by intoxreport

Seeking out small pockets of serious humor in a serious world preoccupied with ebola, ISIS and Tom Brady’s balls is a daunting task, but at the close of another nihilistic day, nothing is funnier than people who take themselves too … Continue reading →

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Experiment Proves Foie Gras Is Not Torture

Posted on January 20, 2015 by intoxreport

I fell in love with ‘method art’ when I first saw DeNiro play Jake LaMotta in Raging Bull.  As you recall, the Oscar-winner gained several hundred pounds to portray the boxer in his later years, eschewing the sort of pillow-with-straps … Continue reading →

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As A Wine Critic, William Shatner Makes A Good Starship Captain

Posted on January 13, 2015 by intoxreport

I was recently introduced to William Shatner’s foray into what we can only hope is the corpulent old hambone’s final frontier: ‘Brown Bag’—a bizarre wine tasting show featuring people who don’t know anything about wine interacting with a host who … Continue reading →

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Je Suis Plein De Merde

Posted on January 10, 2015 by intoxreport

The tragedy at the Charlie Hebdo office in Paris has been fuel for reflection for a lot of people who write smarmy shit for a living.  It’s also proven useful First Amendment fodder for people who would never consider mocking … Continue reading →

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Six Achingly Bold Wine Predictions For 2015

Posted on December 29, 2014 by intoxreport

Every year at this time I channel the ectospasm of Jean Dixon, who gives me access to a smattering of trade journal wine headlines that will appear throughout the upcoming year.  Use this information with wisdom and circumspection, my children, … Continue reading →

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New Year’s Soul-Search: 3 People Who Are Bigger Losers Than You

Posted on December 26, 2014 by intoxreport

…Or me. At this contemplative season of the year, when we add up our lives on our brand-new shoplifted Wolfram Mathematica 9 calculators, many of us heave sighs of resignation. We are not wealthy, we have not won Heisman Trophies … Continue reading →

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