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Category Archives: GENERAL
The Funnel Of Snobbery: Here’s How It Works
In order to simplify elaborate concepts, certain ‘wine blogs’ rely on fancy graphics and colorful charts and educational posters and shit, and that’s just coolaballoolies: If you need life distilled to a See Dick Run picture book before you can … Continue reading
The News For Wine Bloggers Is Even Gooder Than Great
Finally, some good news arises from the Wine Bloggers Conference people. I’m not talking about the conference itself—that’s pretty much standardized, annual good news, like the swallows returning to Capistrano or the onset of Christmas decorations in September or some … Continue reading
Jack Off All Wines, Master Of None
The titular pun is ‘me all over’—as immature as sniggering at the word ‘titular’. From time to time, of course—snarky, sarkie satirical sibilance aside—those of us whose lowly role in this veil of tears and sin is wine critiquery (not … Continue reading
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Orange Is The New Misogyny?
What’s that they say about arguing on the internet? Even if you win, you’re still a misogynist pig with woman-hating issues stemming from childhood? Something like that. In any case, I was labeled such (and worse) by a somewhat rabid … Continue reading
Steadfast Sancerre Stands Strong Amid War Of The Words
I believe I have finally begun to grow up. I am about to discuss an article written by a colleague named Beppi Crosariol, in which I intend to spend zero minutes making jokes about his preposterous name, but rather, will focus … Continue reading
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The Sinskeys Of The Father Visited Upon The Somm
Robert Sinskey doesn’t think much of wine writers. Oh, dear. He does, however, have a soft spot for ‘lumbersexual sommeliers’, which I suspect is really a hard spot, but I would never say that, because otherwise, when I tear the … Continue reading
The Brine In Wine Is Mainly In The Mind
Or so the scholars tell me. But I’m not buying it—not for a second. On the other hand, whenever I listen to a conch (which rhymes with ‘ponch’, not ‘honk’, damn it) I believe I’m actually hearing the ocean, not … Continue reading
Word, Wine Wimps: A Real Man Can Handle His Arsenic
The line between macho and third stage alcoholism may be a fine one, but here’s a true story: Two years ago I managed to break a carboy filled with dago red and I spent the rest of the afternoon not … Continue reading
I Pledge Allergic To The Flag
I own up: I’m too big a pussy to join the Marines, I can’t remember the words to the National Anthem (nor could I hit the high ‘f’ if I did); I turn the thermostat to 90° in the winter … Continue reading
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