Category Archives: GENERAL

What Do Women Want? Phenylethylamine, Mr. Freud—Not a Scrotum

Posted on October 11, 2012 by intoxreport

Sigmund Freud, The Psychical Consequences of the Anatomic Distinction Between the Sexes, 1925: “The great question which I have not yet been able to answer despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, is: ‘What does a woman … Continue reading →

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‘The Drumbeat Of Transparency’ And Other Examples Of Mismatched Synesthesia Among Wine Writers

Posted on October 9, 2012 by intoxreport

I am sitting here in the middle of the night reading the label on a jar of Gourmet Collection Cajun Style Spice Blend wearing an expression between bemused bewilderment and baffled miff, since apparently, in its inimitable wisdom, the FDA … Continue reading →

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What Wines Not To Serve For Columbus Day

Posted on October 8, 2012 by intoxreport

Columbus Day is, of course, the annual goombah gala which has nothing really to do with Christopher Columbus and everything really to do with marching down Fifth Avenue surrounded by bands, floats and contingents while bragging about how goddamned happy … Continue reading →

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Duckhorn And Cover: Or, How To Survive The Red Wine Menace of 2012

Posted on October 7, 2012 by intoxreport

October 7, 2012: ABC News has reported that new evidence links alcohol consumption with bowel cancer. The findings from the European Prospective Investigation into Cancer and Nutrition (EPIC) suggest that people who drink one or two glasses of wine or … Continue reading →

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Top Ten Reasons Why I Hate Top Ten Lists Followed By A Top Ten List of Ten Tenable Wines Under Ten Bucks

Posted on October 6, 2012 by intoxreport

You may not know this, but there are, on earth, quite a few life-lacking lackeys who actually enjoy, and thus create, top ten lists. People like Alec Baldwin, who swore he’d leave the country if George W. Bush was elected, … Continue reading →

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Wines To Serve With The ‘Paleo Diet’

Posted on October 5, 2012 by intoxreport

The history of dietary scamology is older than mankind; it began when the first primeval predatory invertebrate camouflaged itself to trick some doofus diatom into becoming dinner. The history—the science, really—of human dietary scamology (a.k.a. ‘fad diets’) is a bit … Continue reading →

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Vintage Cellars For Your Cellarable Vintages

Posted on October 4, 2012 by intoxreport

The concept of a wine cellar sort of baffles me. Not because I don’t think it would be awesome to convert a corner of my cold, dank, subterranean arachnology museum into a temperate haven for comatose cabernet and reposing Rioja. … Continue reading →

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Airline Wine: Get High, But Keep It On The Down Low?

Posted on September 20, 2012 by intoxreport

In a recent interview with CNN, my FB buddy Robert Joseph—Editor-at-Large of Meininger’s Wine Business International—makes an astonishing claim: “Some of the finest wines in the world, some of the finest Bordeaux, actually, don’t taste good at high altitudes.” He … Continue reading →

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Playboyz To Playmen: Is That A First Growth In Your Pocket Or Are You Just Happy To See Me?

Posted on September 19, 2012 by intoxreport

My heart goes back to wander there, And among the dreams of the days that were, I find my lost youth again. And the strange and beautiful song, The groves are repeating it still: “A boy’s will is the wind’s … Continue reading →

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It’s Up To You, New Cork, New Cork

Posted on September 18, 2012 by intoxreport

Spot quiz, class: What do corks and Mork From Ork have in common? They have absolutely no relevancy to 2012’s brave new world. Both come from obscure lands on the periphery of anything that could even vaguely be called civilization. … Continue reading →

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