Category Archives: Uncategorized

Amy Iezzoni: National Cherry Queen, Entire 21st Century

Posted on November 2, 2014 by intoxreport

Each year in June, the Board of Governors of the National Cherry Festival in Traverse City picks a National Cherry Queen based on intelligence, poise and speaking ability. And each year since the ‘80s, they get it wrong. That’s because … Continue reading →

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Why Swiss Cheese Is Holy: Raclette-Making in Sutton’s Bay

Posted on September 8, 2014 by intoxreport

The only thing more mid-America wholesome than church-going is cheese-making, so it’s fitting that John and Anne Hoyt—after years of bouncing around temporary Leelanau digs—landed inside the defunct Sutton’s Baby Bible Church.  Although it must be said, I can understand how you … Continue reading →

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Bryan Ulbrich: Putting His Left Foot Forward

Posted on September 4, 2014 by intoxreport

Sitting outdoors on one of those quintessential Traverse City summer afternoons that are chilly and hot simultaneously, Bryan Ulbrich pours a glass of something special. At least, he maintains that it will be special; the vines are young and this … Continue reading →

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Teague Fatigue: When Wine Writers Scrape The Bottom Of The Limousin Barrel To Make Deadline

Posted on September 1, 2014 by intoxreport

Unlike Lettie Teague, I don’t have to come up with wine column ideas.  I am beholden to no man, woman, trannie or Murdoch meat grinding daily like The Wall Street Journal; I can write when, how and about what I … Continue reading →

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Saved By The Bell: Willis Hall Winery Is Down, But Not Out

Posted on August 29, 2014 by intoxreport

Like a lot of whizbangs from his generation, John Bell sidled into his wine compulsion via Mateus and Lancers—those primitive, popular Portuguese pots of plonk that in the prehistory of American wine appreciation were revered simply because they were wine, … Continue reading →

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Grand Traverse Distillery: Taking Their Best Shot

Posted on August 26, 2014 by intoxreport

It’s an interesting question in any case: Does appellation play the same role—or any role—in defining a liquor’s quality as it does a wine’s? Or is it purely marketing schtick? I ask because a wine’s regulated place-of-origin is intimately woven … Continue reading →

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Dandelion Wine Daughters Forever

Posted on July 20, 2014 by intoxreport

When I was eleven, my father handed me a book by Ray Bradbury called Dandelion Wine and asked me to read it.  These were the days when kids read books and didn’t consider it an affront on their texting time; … Continue reading →

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Elie Speaketh Truth

Posted on July 17, 2014 by intoxreport

Call me a good-ol’-boy, a peckerwood throwback, a retro-Aryan Nation dingaling—but in Detroit, my favorite African American wine pro in is a white dude. Born into to a family of North African spice merchants, Elie Boudt cut his vending teeth … Continue reading →

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So You Wanna Be A Wine Hack…?

Posted on July 7, 2014 by intoxreport

I’m worried about you, gentle reader.  Yes, you; the happy-go-lucky, earnest, lapdog-like wine aficionado who stumbled across this web site looking for practical advice on ‘Top Syrahs Under $20’.  Joke’s on you, by the way:  I learned very early in … Continue reading →

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Shine On, Shine On Hard-Ass Moon

Posted on February 20, 2014 by intoxreport

Moonshine is many things to many people.  To unemployed Ma Swaller in Possum Twat, Arkansas, it’s survival economics as she sells Persimmon Punch for a buck a cup to her neighbors.  To Dork Hazzard, it’s dodging (literally) the Feddies in … Continue reading →

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