Category Archives: LIQUOR

Guy Wicker Is The Heisenberg Of Hootch

Lissen up, Albuquerque undercover: I found Heisenberg, and he’s not dead.  He’s not Walter White and he’s not even in New Mexico.  He’s in Southfield, Michigan and he’s switched his drug dementias mid-season, from meth to absinthe. And also Chartreuse, … Continue reading

Posted in Absinthe, GENERAL, LIQUOR | Tagged | Leave a comment

Re: Re:Find: A Re:Markable Find

(This piece, as well as the last two columns posted, are excerpts from ‘A Rite Of Paso: Paso Robles Wine Country’ to be released December 1, 2013 by Intoxicology Press, LLC.) If Alex Trebek posed the answer, ‘The smartest guy in … Continue reading

Posted in LIQUOR, Paso Robles, Vodka | Tagged , , | 2 Comments

Papa’s Pilar: Preach, Pater; Preach, Preach…

‘Yo ho ho and a solera of rum…’ said no pirate ever. Pirates have been given a historical pass in popular culture, at least the old school ones.  They appear as cartoon buffoons like Captain Hook, loveable matinee idols like … Continue reading

Posted in LIQUOR, Rum | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Absinthe of ‘Alice’

Bernard Black (proprietor of Black Books) referred to it as ‘the drink that makes you want to kill yourself.’ Oscar Wilde claimed, ‘After the first glass of absinthe you see things as you wish they were…’, by which he may … Continue reading

Posted in Absinthe | Tagged , , | 4 Comments

Marketing To Minors: P. Diddy’s Hand Cîrocs My Cradle

First—with the exception of a couple of my kids who may tune in to see if their names get mentioned—we’re all adults here, so let’s suffer no fools and yank no chains:  We all know how the merry mass-mockery of … Continue reading

Posted in LIQUOR, Vodka | Tagged , , , | 4 Comments

Sammy And Jack, Sammy and Jack; I’m Gonna Get Me Some Sammy And Jack

The  best part of covering celebrity wines is that you don’t actually have to taste them to finagle columns from them thousands of words long. And do you know why?  Because, my droogies, there’s no need to taste a celebrity … Continue reading

Posted in CALIFORNIA, GENERAL, Napa, Rum | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Kassel Is Emasculated By An Empowerpuff Public Relations Morselette (And Brian Howlett)

Ever heard of a cocktail called a Mint Julep?  How about a Mai Tai? Yeah; me too, so why is the publicist from Empower Public Relations sending me emails listing them among ‘Five Cocktails You May Not Have Heard Of’? … Continue reading

Posted in GENERAL, LIQUOR, Miscellaneous | Tagged , , , | 1 Comment

You Side With The Angels—Me, I’ve Got Lincoln Henderson’s Back

The following review contains words like ‘penis’ and may not be suitable for adults. “For in the Resurrection they neither marry, nor are given in marriage, but are as the angels of God in Heaven.”  – Matthew 22:30 As the … Continue reading

Posted in Bourbon, LIQUOR | Tagged , , | 2 Comments

Satan’s Vodka: Was Reagan Right About ‘The Evil Empire’?

Real men don’t drink vodka. How do I know this?  Primarily from the score.  Cold War = We won.  Communism vs. Capitalism = We won.  Space Race = We won.  Any James Bond novel = We won. I know, James … Continue reading

Posted in Vodka | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Beat The Muddles: Drinks from the Beatnik Generation

January 6, 2012 would have marked the 77th birthday of John ‘The Hipster of Joy Street’ Wieners, an influential lyric poet who was one of the lesser known writers of the Beat Generation. Like any self-respecting beatnik, Wieners was born … Continue reading

Posted in GENERAL, LIQUOR, Miscellaneous | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment