Category Archives: GENERAL

The Brine In Wine Is Mainly In The Mind

Or so the scholars tell me.  But I’m not buying it—not for a second. On the other hand, whenever I listen to a conch (which rhymes with ‘ponch’, not ‘honk’, damn it) I believe I’m actually hearing the ocean, not … Continue reading

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Word, Wine Wimps: A Real Man Can Handle His Arsenic

The line between macho and third stage alcoholism may be a fine one, but here’s a true story: Two years ago I managed to break a carboy filled with dago red and I spent the rest of the afternoon not … Continue reading

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I Pledge Allergic To The Flag

I own up: I’m too big a pussy to join the Marines, I can’t remember the words to the National Anthem (nor could I hit the high ‘f’ if I did); I turn the thermostat to 90° in the winter … Continue reading

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What Country Has The REAL Bourbon Dynasty Again?

Oh, those wacky, laugh-a-minute French.  What with their Jerry Lewis Fan Clubs, socially-constipated mimes, Charlie Hebdo (Mad Magazine for Islamophobes) and Les Tontons Flingueurs quoting, it’s a wonder they have any time to lose wars. But, giving the French space … Continue reading

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I Am The Joan Rivers Of The Wine-Blog Oscars

Truly, I am.  Like Bon Jovi and the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame; Nabokov without an aurelian badge from Nobel; Chita Rivera, the firebrand Latina unable to sing her way into a Tony. That’s me: Never the bridesmaid let … Continue reading

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Forget ‘Wine With Chocolate’; What Wine Goes With Those Cute Li’l Candy Hearts That Say ‘Blow Me’?

One of the reasons I am a low-paid blogger instead of a highly-paid critic for The Daily Planet—a great metropolitan newspaper—is that I don’t do obligatory. Obligatory wine columns preceding holidays are, in the minds of many editors, pablum for … Continue reading

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Non-Stupid-Sounding Tasting Notes: The Final Frontier

In a world filled with terrorist temper tantrums, approaching asteroids and diseases that make your eyeballs bleed, I spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about wine tasting notes. And here’s why: In theory, there exists a wine note format … Continue reading

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