Category Archives: GENERAL

Inglorious Bâterd: Leave the Millennials Alone

“So many Millennials are interested more in the narrative of the wine rather than the wine,” said Jason Jacobeit, the 29-year-old head sommelier of Bâtard restaurant in New York. “A lot of mediocre wine is being sold on the basis … Continue reading

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Wine and Chocolate: Life Imitates Really Shitty, Satirical Art

One of the first pieces I wrote for Intoxicology Report—and one which has, for the sheer idiocy of its premise, seen over 100,000 hits—was a piece on pairing wine with chili dogs. The idea was that writing about such edgy but … Continue reading

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This Is My 500th Column…

This is my five hundredth Intoxicology Report, representing nearly a million written words about wine, spirits, beer and people I don’t like. Yessiree bob, I’m so full of me today it’s seeping out around the gaskets. Are you as impressed … Continue reading

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Is Danny Meyer a Twat? …And Other Rhetorical Questions

Good news, Foodies—there’s a new buzz word you can latch on to! This one describes all fourteen of Danny Meyer’s New York-based restaurants, among them Gramercy Tavern, Blue Smoke, The Modern and Union Square Café. Henceforth, they are twattorias. This … Continue reading

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I’m Butch, The HoseMaster is Alfalfa and You’re Darla

A note was passed to me yesterday during wine class—it was from Barbara, that pretty girl in the back with the Category Merchandiser nameplate on her pinafore. The note said: “I may not always get what you and The HoseMaster … Continue reading

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I am the Holy Troller and I Shall Lay my Vengeance Upon Thee

May I venture a guess?  If somebody told you that you were quoted in some wine article in The Atlantic, you’d probably light up like a Buddhist monk with a gas can and a Zippo, right? You’d look for bragging … Continue reading

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The Munchkin of Ink Thinks I’m #Stupid. Read On.

Old age may not guarantee wisdom, but it does encourage a bit of caution.  As a result, I’m wary of using the word ‘stupid’ to dismiss people I don’t know.   I roll my eyes at those memes that say ‘Stupidity … Continue reading

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