Category Archives: GENERAL

The Wine Goddess: Seventh Heaven Or 7-11?

The other day, one of my West Coast wine buddies brought up The Wine Goddess; not in terms of her skill as a wine writer nor her eno-acumen, but regarding the size of her jahoobies—her neener nay-nays, her wopbopaloobops, or, … Continue reading

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Elie Speaketh Truth

Call me a good-ol’-boy, a peckerwood throwback, a retro-Aryan Nation dingaling—but in Detroit, my favorite African American wine pro in is a white dude. Born into to a family of North African spice merchants, Elie Boudt cut his vending teeth … Continue reading

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So You Wanna Be A Wine Hack…?

I’m worried about you, gentle reader.  Yes, you; the happy-go-lucky, earnest, lapdog-like wine aficionado who stumbled across this web site looking for practical advice on ‘Top Syrahs Under $20’.  Joke’s on you, by the way:  I learned very early in … Continue reading

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A Summertime Favorite: Korn On The Job

* Final day for voting in Wine Blog Awards 2014, for which this column is nominated in ‘Best Writing On A Wine Blog’.  http://wineblogawards.org/ if you intend to vote for me.   Otherwise, move along, nothing to see here…   Every … Continue reading

Posted in GENERAL, Provence, Rhône | Tagged , , | 1 Comment

Join The N.R.A. And Get A Free Ticket To The Vegan Expo

Well, not quite.  But close.  Yesterday, in the same spirit that rubba-neckin’ Bubba McCan-Koozie goes apeshit when NASCAR cars crash, I represented the Anti-Press at the annual Vegan Tastefest in Novi. Over the years, among my fellow bleeding-heart liberals, I … Continue reading

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Relax, Wine Business: Kathie Lee Has Arrived

The global wine industry—beleaguered by the recent recession, fickle vintages, lazy retailers, semi-literate historiographers and the idiotic 100-point scoring scale—may be likened to the Frankish army at Anatolia, Wellington’s forces at Waterloo, the 2nd Ox at Pegasus Bridge or Gandalf … Continue reading

Posted in CALIFORNIA, GENERAL, Monterey | Tagged , | 1 Comment

Why American Wine Will Never Be As Interesting As French Wine

A few days ago, Tom Wark published a column called  ‘Why French Wine Will Never Be As Interesting As American Wine’. Je l’avoue, there are very few wine columns—French or otherwise—that I find as interesting as my own, which is … Continue reading

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Guy Wicker Is The Heisenberg Of Hootch

Lissen up, Albuquerque undercover: I found Heisenberg, and he’s not dead.  He’s not Walter White and he’s not even in New Mexico.  He’s in Southfield, Michigan and he’s switched his drug dementias mid-season, from meth to absinthe. And also Chartreuse, … Continue reading

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Why We Should Score Literature Like We Score Wine

Last week, having engaged in lively and utterly useless banter with wine writers Joe Roberts and Frederic Koeppel regarding the efficacy of scoring wine, I found myself having sort of epiphany that Brian Wilson must have had when he kicked … Continue reading

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Live Fast, Die Young And Leave A Corpse That Looks Exactly Like James Dean

(This piece is an excerpt from ‘A Rite Of Paso: Paso Robles Wine Country’ to be released December, 2013 by Intoxicology Press, LLC.) Within the annals of the eerie, two almost inconceivably bizarre images come to mind: First, the photograph of John … Continue reading

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