Category Archives: GENERAL

Unnatural Detroit, Naturally

…I’m taking a brief sabbatical from Intoxicology Report to write a pair of wine books.  ‘Norton Wine: Walking Off To Look For America’, a book about a genuine native American varietal that can, in its best incarnation, rival vitis vinifera.  … Continue reading

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When Chefs Go Rogue: Tesar Tasers Tony B.

I’m old enough to remember when Jimmy Carter almost deep-sixed his 1976 presidential bid by telling Playboy magazine that he ‘lusted after women in his heart’. In those days, a pious Christian family-man simply did not make those sorts of … Continue reading

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Like We All Haven’t Done That, #682

An Open Letter to Josseleen Elida Lopez: Don’t let the bastards get you down, sugar-hips: We’ve all outlived these kinds of moral meltdowns. I’m referring to your recent 15 minutes of fame where your 15% blood alcohol level will likely … Continue reading

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Dreaming of a Black Plague Christmas? Here’s the Ticket…

As you can well imagine, Christmas traditions are very important at the Kassel homestead.  As such, all the bad little Kasselites found fossilized carbon in their stockings this year and the bad little wine patriarch—moi—ended up with vinegar. But not … Continue reading

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I’m The Bluto of SommDay School

Mea Maxima Culpa: On occasion, I pick on Master Sommeliers.  That happens to be cold-ass reality; I’m in the wine game for the lolz, not for the respect or the badges or the profits. And my issue—if you can legitimately … Continue reading

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‘The Jinx Fragment’—Unnatural Detroit, Naturally

I’ve intentionally kept Intoxicology Report ad-free for five years because I don’t want my opinions or your support to be in any way beholden.  My books, however, I sorta do want to sell (!) In my halcyon days, when I … Continue reading

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Pas de Bor-deux: Dollar for Dollar

I’m not here to argue whether or not Picasso’s Nude, Green Leaves and Bust is worth a hundred million dollars, which is what it sold for at Christie’s a few years ago, because I grew up in household of people … Continue reading

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