Category Archives: GENERAL

Jack Off All Wines, Master Of None

The titular pun is ‘me all over’—as immature as sniggering at the word ‘titular’. From time to time, of course—snarky, sarkie satirical sibilance aside—those of us whose lowly role in this veil of tears and sin is wine critiquery (not … Continue reading

Posted in GENERAL | 2 Comments

Orange Is The New Daughter

Something that all addicts share is a hi-tech toolbox filled with psychological denial.  This includes drawers for rationalization, slots for excuses and various compartments for blame projection. So, were I to maintain that my approach to alcohol and its associated … Continue reading

Posted in GENERAL | 3 Comments

Orange Is The New Misogyny?

What’s that they say about arguing on the internet?  Even if you win, you’re still a misogynist pig with woman-hating issues stemming from childhood? Something like that.  In any case, I was labeled such (and worse) by a somewhat rabid … Continue reading

Posted in GENERAL | Tagged | 3 Comments

Steadfast Sancerre Stands Strong Amid War Of The Words

I believe I have finally begun to grow up.  I am about to discuss an article written by a colleague named Beppi Crosariol, in which I intend to spend zero minutes making jokes about his preposterous name, but rather, will focus … Continue reading

Posted in GENERAL | Leave a comment

The Sinskeys Of The Father Visited Upon The Somm

Robert Sinskey doesn’t think much of wine writers.  Oh, dear. He does, however, have a soft spot for ‘lumbersexual sommeliers’, which I suspect is really a hard spot, but I would never say that, because otherwise, when I tear the … Continue reading

Posted in GENERAL | Tagged | 6 Comments

The Brine In Wine Is Mainly In The Mind

Or so the scholars tell me.  But I’m not buying it—not for a second. On the other hand, whenever I listen to a conch (which rhymes with ‘ponch’, not ‘honk’, damn it) I believe I’m actually hearing the ocean, not … Continue reading

Posted in GENERAL | Tagged | 3 Comments

Word, Wine Wimps: A Real Man Can Handle His Arsenic

The line between macho and third stage alcoholism may be a fine one, but here’s a true story: Two years ago I managed to break a carboy filled with dago red and I spent the rest of the afternoon not … Continue reading

Posted in GENERAL | Tagged | Leave a comment