Author Archives: intoxreport

The Brine In Wine Is Mainly In The Mind

Or so the scholars tell me.  But I’m not buying it—not for a second. On the other hand, whenever I listen to a conch (which rhymes with ‘ponch’, not ‘honk’, damn it) I believe I’m actually hearing the ocean, not … Continue reading

Posted in GENERAL | Tagged | 3 Comments

Word, Wine Wimps: A Real Man Can Handle His Arsenic

The line between macho and third stage alcoholism may be a fine one, but here’s a true story: Two years ago I managed to break a carboy filled with dago red and I spent the rest of the afternoon not … Continue reading

Posted in GENERAL | Tagged | Leave a comment

Springtime Balancing Act: La Flor y La Abeja

For a wine person, I spend more time mocking wine conventions than I do attending them, but one of life’s primary sanity lessons is that sarcasm is free while a lecture on whether or not to de-stem grapes prior to … Continue reading

Posted in SPAIN | Tagged , , | 1 Comment

I Pledge Allergic To The Flag

I own up: I’m too big a pussy to join the Marines, I can’t remember the words to the National Anthem (nor could I hit the high ‘f’ if I did); I turn the thermostat to 90° in the winter … Continue reading

Posted in GENERAL | Leave a comment

I Came, I Wente, I Conquered

Vini, Vidi, Vente.  That’s Latin, baby. Wente Vineyards makes this claim without braggadocio: They are the oldest, continually-operating family-owned winery in California. As, their scrapbook must look like the walls of Harvard School of Law’s graduating class—generation after generation of … Continue reading

Posted in Arroyo Seco, CALIFORNIA | Tagged | Leave a comment

Right vs. Left: Banking on Bordeaux, 2010

When Sonny Bono died in 1998, the public pointed to an old superstition: Celebrities tend to die in trees.  Gratefully, Harrison Ford survived; otherwise we’d have to hear them go on about how celebrities tend to die in fores. In … Continue reading

Posted in Bordeaux, FRANCE | Leave a comment

Blending: A Tightrope For The Vinologically Dexterous

Single-variety wines may make for some small talk, but in most cases, blended wines are better.  Which is why, nearly everywhere, for a wine to label itself using the name of a grape—Chardonnay, Syrah, et. al—appellation laws generally allow some … Continue reading

Posted in Calatayud, SPAIN | Tagged | 1 Comment