Monthly Archives: February 2013

When It Says Lobby, Lobby, Lobby On The Label, Label, Label…

…you know that common sense is off the table, table, table. At one time—before I accepted Jesus as my Lord and personal savior—I was somewhat judgmental.  I know, I know; you’re all like, huh?  You??!  But it’s perfectly true, people.  … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , | 3 Comments

Calling All Vegans: Unfriend In Need!

You guys probably know more about Facebook protocol than me, so tell me this: After you ‘unfriend’ somebody, is it customary to send them twelve (count ‘em) private messages in which you refer to your new best unfriend—in this case, … Continue reading

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Barack Buggers Big Beer: Bravo!

When it comes to learning new words, I am pretty much on the fence.  Like, I vacillate.  It would seem that my inbred, Leonardo-level lust for learning—the product of a nearly bionic brain and a four-digit IQ (not to brag, … Continue reading

Posted in BEER | Tagged , , , , , | 1 Comment

Must-Serve Wines For The Oscars! Yes, I’m Kidding

During the hard time I served as Detroit Free Press wine critic, I worked for a screw editor who had been plucked from the paper’s Fashion Page. Why she was offered—or accepted—a position as Food Page Editor is a mystery best … Continue reading

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Trinkets And Tchotchkes And Geegaws And Swag…

..and still the young lady remains on the rag. Whether between the heads of sovereign states, business associates, troglodyte tribes in the tropics or horny men expecting quid pro blowjob reciprocation, the tradition of gift-giving is firmly entrenched in human … Continue reading

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Grape Seeds: Oil Make Something Of Ya Yet!

Nearly everyone on earth knows that there is no such thing as a Leprechaun that isn’t actually that wee oaf Matt Roloff mugging about in a green top hat on St. Paddy’s Day; likewise, most folks understand that there is … Continue reading

Posted in CALIFORNIA, GENERAL, Napa | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Celebrity Wine Is Truly The Pitts

Truth be told, my Intoxicology Report editors don’t like me—not one little bit.  They don’t like my literary style, my superiority complex or my cute Lucy Ball poodle do—in short, they don’t like the cut of my jib.  They are … Continue reading

Posted in GENERAL, Provence | Tagged , , , | 5 Comments

Few In Mendoza Are Mendozing

Mendoza, Argentina is a land of loveliness and lore, enoturismo and earthquakes, fiestas and Fernando Fader (1882-1935): The first post-impressionist painter in South America. The area surrounding Mendoza is also the largest wine producing region in Latin America.  With an … Continue reading

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Spa Vs. Spa

Did you know that ‘spa’ is an acronym for  ‘self-indulgent pretentious ass-wipe’? If you didn’t, you should read this column more often, because that’s the kind of arcane crap you are always learning around here. Anyway, if the word ‘spa’ … Continue reading

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Michigan By The Bottle By The Glass

Shannon and Cortney Casey—a couple of local wine kids who are indeed technically young enough to be my kids—have come up with a bad-ass way of promoting Michigan wines. Two ways, actually. The first time I encountered them was via … Continue reading

Posted in Michigan, MIDWEST | Tagged , , , | 1 Comment